Somewhere With You
by michellemtsu
Summary: Haunted by dreams of Emma, Killian has a fateful conversation with Prince Charming. Spoilers for 3.11.


**Author's note:** Just a little idea that gave me feels after that finale. Share in my suffering.

**Disclaimer:** Stupid memory loss!

The dreams begin the first night back.

When the inhabitants of Storybrooke arrived back in their home realm, everything was confusion. The prince and princess did their best to restore order, give everyone hope that everything was going to be alright, but Killian could see it in their eyes. The same pain he felt. The same loss.

Emma was lost to them.

Granted, the loss was different for David and his wife. They were her parents, had already given her up once to save her from the curse. But they had had some precious moments with their girl. They knew that Emma loved them. Killian had no such consolation. All he had were memories, dreams of what could have been. If only he'd had more _time._

"_There's not a day that will go by that I won't think of you."_

"_Good."_

That memory haunted him more than the others. Spoke to the great _unfairness_ of all of this. He could see it in Emma's tear filled eyes. She _cared_ about him, more than she would probably admit out loud. Yet. In time, he was certain that she'd love him the same he did her. That she'd want him. Now she didn't even remember who he was. As if he'd never existed.

But Killian Jones had made a promise. One he intended to keep. He thought of her. Every day. Every hour. Every minute. Every second. He thought of his Swan, her smile, her sea green eyes, her stubbornness, her bravery, the taste of her lips on his. He thought of her so much his chest ached, but he didn't stop. _Couldn't_ stop. If he stopped, then he would well and truly be alone.

He lost count of how many times he woke up in a cold sweat, dreaming of her. Every dream was different, and yet...the same. They were sailing on the _Jolly_ _Roger_, wind in her hair, hands clasped together on the wheel, a brilliant smile on her face. They were laying in bed together, limbs tangled, desire sated for the moment, staring into each other's eyes. They were in Emma's apartment in Storybrooke, Henry sitting between them while Killian regaled him with tales of the high seas. They were holding hands bent over a crib, a tiny bundle waving an equally tiny fist at them, Emma kissing his cheek, telling him what a good father he was going to be. There were many others, so many that Killian thought he'd go mad from want of her.

But he couldn't do that. He had to be strong. For her. For what they should have been. If his dreams were the only place they could ever be happy, then he'd find some way to be content with that.

Killian stared out into the night – he'd just been sitting with Emma on Storybrooke's stony shore, a blanket wrapped around them as they looked out at the ocean, peaceful and content – when he heard footsteps. He didn't bother to turn; whoever it was could be buggered for all Killian cared. He was too busy trying to remember how Emma fit against him, how warm she was. He was so very cold.

"Hook."

_Go away, _Killian thought vaguely. But whoever it was didn't obey his silent command.

"Honestly, I expected better of you, pirate."

_That_ got him to turn. Standing a few feet from him looking as miserable as Killian felt was David. The prince had a hard set to his shoulders, cares etched across his handsome face. And worry. Worry for the daughter he could never see again. For the wife as grief stricken as himself. For the kingdom they were trying to rebuild. For the new threat to their home. Killian had stayed close to them, having nowhere else to go. The _Jolly Roger_ was gone, melted away when Storybrooke was destroyed. David hadn't said anything, merely accepted Killian's presence as if he'd always been there. It was a small comfort, to be accepted by Emma's family when the woman herself was gone.

"I don't rightly know what you mean, _mate_," Killian spat, harsher than he intended. David missed Emma just as much as he did.

"You know _exactly_ what I mean. Emma."

"Emma's gone. You know that as well as I."

"And you're just going to what? Give up? That's not the man I know."

"Aye, but I thought we agreed. I'm a _pirate_, Dave."

David sighed. "A pirate. Yes. You're also the man in love with my daughter."

Killian instinctively recoiled, not wanting _any_ part of this conversation. "Afraid you've got the wrong bloke," he lied. "Baelfire's down the hall."

David raised a skeptical brow, so like his daughter's. It felt like a punch in the gut. "She thought we were trying to keep you away from her, you know."

Killian blinked, nonplussed. "How's that?"

David rubbed the back of his neck, frowning. "When we got back from Neverland. Neal asked her to lunch, Snow thought it would be good for her. When Emma didn't show, I went to look for her. Found her down by the docks. I think she was looking for someone else."

Killian shifted uncomfortably. He knew why Emma didn't find him. He'd been up all night drinking, even tried to flirt with Tinkerbell, trying desperately to find something to drown out the pain. Doing the honorable thing hurt like a son of a bitch.

If David saw his discomfort, he didn't say anything. "Well, she was worried about Henry. We thought she was just being paranoid, Neverland anxiety lingering. You know how that turned out." David sighed heavily. "She asked me if I was pushing her toward Neal to keep her away from you. I didn't really give her an answer."

"And were you?" He hated the way his voice cracked. But the idea that Emma had been thinking of him – _looking_ for him to help her, support her – nearly killed him.

David smiled. "At the time, I didn't think so. But now...maybe we were. And if we were...I'm sorry. For what it's worth. You're an honorable man, Killian Jones. It may have taken me a while to figure that out, but I won't make that mistake again."

"Not really a chance for you to make it again, mate. In case you haven't noticed, Emma's not here." And he would never see her again.

"No, she's not. I miss her. Snow misses her. And you...you're practically walking around here like zombie, Jones. Very bad form."

Killian smiled ruefully. "Bad form appears to be only kind left to me these days."

David leaned on the windowsill next to him. "I'm going to tell you a story. A story of a prince who thought he'd lost his princess forever. She didn't remember him, you see. Had taken a potion to forget him, because the pain of losing him to someone else was too much. When the prince found out what his princess had done, he scoured the woods for her. Searched everywhere. And when he found her, he tried to break the enchantment with True Love's Kiss." David laughed hollowly. "It didn't work. The princess could not remember her prince when she did not remember herself. So the prince had to remind her of who she was. Took an arrow for her. The princess was surprised, but kissed the prince...breaking the spell."

Killian stared at David for a long time. "I can't imagine the princess ever _not_ knowing who you are," he said. Killian had seen them together in Neverland. They were each other's whole world, much like Emma was his.

"Well, she didn't. I still have the scar from that damn arrow."

"I'm assuming this charming tale has a point?"

"My point is...I never gave up on her. Not once. Snow and I have been separated more times than I care to count, but we _always_ find each other."

"Ah, but you and Snow..."

"What? You think Emma doesn't feel that way about you?"

Killian didn't say anything. _"Good."_ Did she? _Could _she? He wanted so desperately to believe, but it was hard. The hardest thing he'd ever tried to do.

"Look. I may not be exactly objective over here. She's my little girl, always will be. But we need her. _You_ need her. If Regina's right, then we are all in danger. We can't fight this alone. I want her to be happy more than anything in the world, but I want it to be real. Not with fake memories. I think you can be that for her. If you're willing to fight for her."

Hope surged in his chest. "Regina said we could never return."

"If this curse gets cast, we're all going to return anyway. And not know who we are. Maybe. You didn't go through that the first time. Blue and Tinkerbell believe that because you weren't part of the first curse, you might be able to go. Find Emma. Bring her back to us."

"Do you really believe that?"

"I have to believe that. I refuse to believe that evil will win. I believe that our family can be together again. The question is: do you want to be a part of this family?"

It was eerily similar to that conversation he and Emma had had mere weeks ago. _Be a part of something._ He'd been alone for so long, it was hard to change. But he had. Killian had turned around with the bean, taken them all to Neverland, and rescued Henry. Had helped try and stop Pan's curse. All for Emma. Because he loved her. He could do this. He could find her. Bring her back to her family. To him. Get the chance that been so cruelly ripped away from them, the chance to win her heart. Make those dreams a reality.

Killian looked up at David, determination and purpose making him stand straighter. "When do I leave?"

He would find her. He would find her, bring her back, make her remember him.

Killian dreamed of her every night. Every night for a year. That long hellish year in which he crossed realms, fought beasts, and navigated an unfamiliar world. All to find Emma. To find his love. Even though he wasn't with her..._somewhere_ he was.

The door opened. "Swan...at last."


End file.
